Bash-O-Rama
by Shinigami Baby
Summary: Just a crappy fic I wrote to bash, like, everyone. Don't take this seriously... well... not all of it anyway.... *snicker*


Heehee! This is a fic where I bash just about everybody! =^_^= This is all for a laugh, so don't take any of this to heart, okay? Warnings: Character-bashing and Yaoi. =^_^= Okay. Read. Laugh. Ja.  
  
"Bash-o-Rama"  
by Shinigami Baby  
  
  
"SYLVIA NOVENTAAAA?!" Relena screeched, slamming her fists down on her desk.  
  
Dorothy took a cautious step back toward the door. "S-something bothering you, Relena-sama?"  
  
Relena flung the small invitation across the room and it fell at Dorothy's feet. The blonde girl bent over and picked it up, reading outloud. "You are cordially invited to witness the union of Mister Heero Yuy and Miss Sylvia Noventa..." Dorothy blinked. "It's a wedding invitiation."  
  
"No shit!" Relena threw her chair out the window.  
  
"Do you not like weddings Relena-sama?"  
  
Relena shot Dorothy a look. "Don't you get it, Dorothy!? HEEEEERO is marrying someone who is NOT me!"  
  
Dorothy shrugged. "Well I gathered that much when I read the invitation."  
  
"AAARRRRGH! You blonde people!" Relena's fist met the wall.  
  
"Re-le-na! Ya-me-ro! Ku-da-sai!!!" Dorothy pleaded, shaking the Queen of the World.  
  
"Stooooop shaaakiiinnng meeeee!!!" Relena said, while being shaken.  
  
"Oops, gomen ne. Heh heh." Dorothy apologized, letting go... and causing Relena to fall to the floor.  
  
"Dorothy..." Relena said, getting up. "Get the car ready."  
  
"Ma'am?"  
  
"We're paying Heero a visit."  
  
Dorothy nodded. "Hai!" Then she ran out of the room down to the garage and flew out of there with Relena's pink limo. (Shini-chan takes a moment to shudder)  
  
BEEP BEEP!  
  
Relena raced down the stairs and hopped into the limo, then the two girls were off.  
  
  
"Hey Quatre, look at this."  
  
Quatre looked over Trowa's shoulder. "It better be good! I'm busy here!"  
  
"It's a wedding invitation. For Heero."  
  
"Hmph, that's just great. Now get rid of that, and let me finish!"  
  
Trowa sighed. "Yes, little one."  
  
"And don't call me that! You know damn well by now that I'm anything BUT little."  
  
Trowa nodded. "This is true."  
  
And the couple resumed their... um... activities.  
  
  
Wufei snuck out of his house long enough to peek in the mailbox.  
  
"WUFEIIII!"  
  
Wufei cringed. "What is it, Sally?"  
  
"Get your ass back in the house!"  
  
Wufei sighed. "Yes, dear."  
  
He looked at the small invitation. 'Heero's getting married?'  
  
"HEY! I never said you could think!" Sally shouted from the living room.  
  
Wufei almost cried. "Gomen ne, Sally-kins."  
  
  
Hirde bounced into the living room of the apartment she and Duo were sharing. "Look, Duo-snookums! Heero's getting married! Don't you think WE should get married too?!"  
  
Duo raised an eyebrow. "Don't you get it yet!? I'M GAY! Don't call me 'snoo-- DID YOU JUST SAY HEERO WAS GETTING MARRIED?!!?"  
  
Hirde cowered a bit. "Y-yes I did."  
  
Duo threw his head back and screamed to the skies. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  
  
Heero's ear twitched. "Sylvia, did you hear that?"  
  
Sylvia shook her head. "Nope."  
  
"Hn. It sounded like Duo."  
  
"Duo?" Sylvia asked.  
  
"Old boyfriend." Heero said.  
  
"Oh okay."  
  
Then the door burst open, showing a very pissed off Relena Peacecraft. Dorothy was two seconds behind, arms full of boxes of chocolates and flowers.  
  
"HEEEEEEROOOOO, I brought you some gifts as tokens of my undying love." Relena said.  
  
Dorothy nodded. "Undying love."  
  
Heero raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about? I don't even *like* you."  
  
Relena pouted. "Is that anyway to treat your old sweetheart?"  
  
"Old sweetheart!" Dorothy echoed.  
  
Heero took refuge behind his desk. "There ain't nothin' sweet about you, Piececrap!"  
  
"Hey! That's not my last name and you know it!.... It's Dorklain." Relena rationalized.  
  
"Dorklain!" Dorothy said.  
  
Sylvia Noventa reached into Hammerspace and pulled out a rocket launcher. "Get the Hell out of my house, and take your freaky cat-fish eyebrowed friend with you!"  
  
"I'm not leaving because HEEEEERO still loves me!"  
  
Duo burst into the room, his dog Hirde was close behind. "Heero! Say it ain't so!"  
  
"Duo?" Heero blinked.  
  
Duo ran over and glomped him. "Hee-chan!"  
  
Heero smiled. "Du-koi..."  
  
Sylvia glared down at the braided boy straddling her future husband. "Hey you! Quit humping my fiance!"  
  
Duo smirked. "He never told me to stop, I figured he enjoyed it."  
  
Heero nodded appreciatively.  
  
"Hah! See? And I ain't stoppin' 'till Hee-chan wants me to."  
  
Hirde ran over and tried to pry Duo off Heero. "But Duo! You're supposed to like *ME*!"  
  
Duo snorted. "I don't think so, Hirde."  
  
And then Wufei and Sally burst in.   
  
"MAXWELL! WHAT ABOUT ME!?" Wufei cried.  
  
"What do you mean 'what about you'?" Heero and Sally asked Wufei at the same time.  
  
Wufei crossed his arms. "Duo and I are lovers!"  
  
"NO!" Sally shrieked.  
  
"Yes." Wufei said quietly. "Now get off of him, Du-chan!"  
  
Duo complied and bounced over to Wufei. "I missed you, Wuffy-boos."  
  
Wufei blushed. Sally grabbed Duo by the braid, very pissed off. Seeing this, Wufei, Heero, and Hirde all pounced on her. A huge dustcloud was the result, arms, legs, braids, and spandex flying about. Seeing that Heero was in danger, Relena jumped into the fight as well, which meant Dorothy jumped in as well. Just for the hell of it, Sylvia jumped in, too.  
  
And then Trowa and Quatre arrived with the enforcer... Catherine Bloom.  
  
"ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW, OR YOU'LL BE TASTING MY KNIVES!" Catherine shouted through a large pink megaphone.  
  
The fighting stopped instantly.  
  
Quatre smiled happily and clapped his hands. "See? We can solve things by not fighting!"  
  
Trowa stared at him and licked his lips. "Oh my God, Quatre, your pacifitst ideals just turn me on!" He grabbed Quatre by the hair and dragged him off to the nearest bedroom like a caveman.  
  
Everyone blinked for a minute, then went back to fighting. Feeling left out, Catherine went home. *sweatdrop*  
  
  
The End.  
  
All of this was just for a laugh, if you can't handle that, then that's just sad. ;p Ja ne!  
  
~Shinigami Baby 


End file.
